George Kalman - Director of Information Systems

Doesn’t get turned on by computers, but loves how fast they can figure out the square roots of numbers.  Doesn’t get turned on by the Internet, but gets a warm, fuzzy feeling inside by how fast a page from overseas is accessed. George is all about speed.  After a crushing disappointment in 3rd grade when he was disqualified from the 50 yard dash during Field Day (after winning the race a teacher claimed he jumped the gun), George has since been running that race over and over again. He reached the age of forty with incredible speed. During that time he’s done the college thing, the job thing, the marriage thing, the divorce thing, the "getting punched in the face by his girlfriend" thing, the "woman leaving him for another woman" thing, the "ex-wife is remarried" thing, and "the world is not interested in your story, but a few want to see the chapter titles" thing.  His mother taught him that men are scum, and his stepmother taught him that you live, you die, and then someone goes through your shit.  George’s bio has nothing to do with this project, which is everything to do with this project, you see, because George has also done the "Taoist" thing. The disqualification stands.


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